Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Something borrowed, something blue....

Something old, something new.....yada yada yada. We've all heard that lame old line before. Heck, I even painted my toes blue when I got married so I wouldn't jinx myself. Still happily married, FYI. Guess it works.

But does it apply to writing?

Presently, my pajama bottoms are blue and I borrowed my husband's cup cuz I didn't feel like getting a new one. And old? Well, my sense of humor. I still say bomb diggity.

This all started because I went to a wedding last week...so much fun cuz I'm a woman and we love that crap.

It was near Lake Michigan and when I arrived I was trying to get directions to the place from a friend, (I left mine at home, oops) and she had no idea how to tell me how to get there...... until I mentioned I was at an intersection with a cherry orchard on one side and a huge pile of boulders on the other. Oh, once I told her that... well then we were cookin' with gas!

In my pursuit of self promotion, I'm still looking for directions. Hate to say it, but I'm a typical woman. I need landmarks. And there are no landmarks for promoting oneself as a writer. You know like that stinkin' Staples 'Easy' button in the commercials?

What a crock.

I am still trying on all kinds of things, to see what works. Much like trying on wedding dresses. Since I've already got old, blue and borrowed (yikes that sounds a bit naughty) I needed new.

So how about a new blog name?

I often stay up late so instead of watching HBO Real Sex or Golden Girls and Nanny re-runs, why not blog at night? Or more accurately at midnight.....see where I'm going now?

And I often ramble, just ask my husband.

So why not call my blog Midnight Ramblings.

I am thinking of interviewing a few victims. . . er, I mean authors in the next few weeks. It could be fun. I'm nosey by nature so I will have to pose a few questions they won't see coming. Keep it interesting.

I don't think I came full circle with my wedding analogy, but its midnight and I'm sleepy. And I'm.....wait for it.....rambling!


Don't hate me...I'm just super original like that.


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Stickers for Success!

OK so its been awhile....and in the interim I joined a cult.

Well, not really, I joined Weight Watchers. But if you want the truth it is kinda like a creepy cult though I have lose 5.7 pounds (insert applause)

And when i weighed in (I so cannot go to the meetings the incessant cheerleading makes me want to stab out my eardrums with a pencil or any other sharp object) I received a 5lb weight loss sticker. No lie, it was a star too, just like the ones I got in kindergarten for learning to tie my shoes, eat paste and finger paint, etc.

I almost laughed in the woman's face and thankfully I had enough wits about me not to do so because she was honestly happy for me.

This lame sticker thing got me thinking...... as I sit here and eat my last cherry turnover from vacation...mmm sugary flakes are all over my slightly smaller belly....

As writers maybe we should give ourselves stickers (figuratively of course unless you are into scrapbooking and have all kinds of sticker crap laying around).

Every time I plot a new book, finish a chapter, write a killer sex scene....who is there to give me a sticker? No one. Writing can be a lonely thing if you don't have friends to give you stickers and shout outs.

So maybe this blogging nonsense isn't so bad.

I've been trying to read blogs I've run across, make comments and I realized every time I make a comment I am converting into the woman behind the counter giving out lame little 5lb stickers.

And maybe its not so lame to get a sticker.....cuz frankly it feels pretty damn good to have someone acknowledge your achievements and your efforts. Even if it seems silly and childish.

So c'mon leave me a sticker! Make a comment! Follow my blog! And I in turn will use my cynicism elsewhere.....perhaps in knocking those damn Kardashians. Honestly don't you hate those bitches?


Friday, August 6, 2010

Hmmmm, now what?

Okay, the initial high of becoming published has worn off much like the delicious afterglow of a good orgasm. Now the real work must begin.

"But how shall I do that, dear Henry, dear Henry?" (BTW, you're supposed to sing along to that dear Liza, dear Liza)

Oh wait, that reminds me! (picture me bouncing in my seat like a kid with ADD) the guy that plays King Henry the Eighth in The Tudors? Jonathan Ryse Myers? Totally a two on the Sham-Wow-O-Meter. . . .

But back to the point at hand. Now what?

I have to think of a way to begin this online promotion thing. I admit I am but a lowly hairdresser with the computer skills of a chimpanzee at times. (Please, if you are either a hairdresser or a primate reading this, do not be offended. Note the purple font.)

Examples of my lack of technical prowess: I deleted half of my final draft on accident and had no back-up. Computer store could not recover it but thankfully I had earlier drafts. It's all better now! :) Also, still don't have my wireless router hooked up because I can't figure out which hole the jack-thingy goes in.

In an effort to do something, I have begun to blog, and people actually read the first post, for which I am grateful but surprised. When I figure out where your blogs are and how to follow you I will return the favor. I was being snarky when I was knocking blogs. But there was no purple font yet.
I also have a friend helping me with a website where I will post myriads of hot men. Get your Sham-Wows ready!

However, I confess most days I feel like vegetarian staring blankly at the menu of a BBQ joint saying, "Um, does everything come with a side of dead animal?"

While I feel like a moron when I read all these cool things my fellow authors are doing I have decided not to let my ignorance get me down!!!! I am diving into the symbolic pool wearing that bikini and rocking more rolls than a bakery!

Look out cyber-world! Here I come!


Always, Deanna