Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Ichabod and the Cowboy Zombie Hunter

Firstly, Ichabod Crane would like to thank Miss Wadsworth for allowing him the use of her blog to champion a subject he has been passionate about for some time:

There Are No Such Thing As Ghosts!

The following interviews are all his thoughts and Miss Wadsworth would like to post them all with the declaimer: These interviews have no bearing on her own personal beliefs. Please hold none of Ichabod's nonsense against her.

Ichabod: Yes, well that was most unnecessary, Miss Wadsworth. Nonetheless, I am the schoolmaster in Tarrytown, New York and recently it has been brought to my attention that more than just my students are in want of a proper education. In my century there are many superstitious folks who tell tales of ghosts and goblins and, Miss Wadsworth has kindly arraigned for me to interview a sampling of these, shall we call them ‘special’ people. Over the last two weeks they have been stopping by so they may be given a chance to try and convince me they are telling the truth and not simply barking mad.
Today we have with us Josh Stanton from Belkin’s Pass whose story is being featured in a book entitled BOUNTY, available now by Hank Edwards.

Josh claims that he has the power to raise the dead. Now, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?

Josh: Thank you, Mr. Crane. I’m from Belkin’s Pass, a small town in the American Old West in the late 1880s. My mother and I lived in a small house far outside town on the edge of desert land called Venom Valley because of the poisonous things that make it their home. Sounds a bit like your tavern near Tarrytown, if you ask me.

Ichabod: (((raises his nose in the air))) I have no idea which tavern you refer to, sir

Josh: (((grins))) Yeah, right. Anyway, my mother disappeared when I was five years old and I was raised by the town schoolteacher, Agnes, who took me in and raised me as her own.

Ichabod: Well, that is quite kind of him, then again all schoolteachers, such as myself, certainly enjoy molding young minds. Now will you please explain to our readers how this raising from the dead business works?

Josh: Well, ever since I was young, whenever I get near to a dead body, I start to feel really warm. It’s like someone lights a fire inside me. And then the body starts to move, and, just recently, I discovered that when these bodies come back, they are hungry for flesh.

Ichabod: Hungry for flesh? Do you mean to say these bodies come to life and crave human flesh?

Josh: Sure do

Ichabod: This seems quite odd. Do you have any proof? Any other people that might vouch for this sort of incident?

Josh: Well, sir, there’s my best friend, Dex Wells, who’s a deputy in Blekin’s Pass. He’s seen it happen.

Ichabod: A man of the law has seen this?

Josh.: Yup. It was after a … well, after we had settled in for the night out in Venom Valley, but it happened. He didn’t know if he could believe me until he saw it with his own two eyes. We got in a right tight spot, we did. I really can’t talk about it anymore, it’s too disturbing.

Ichabod: Hmmm, I might have to speak with this Dex fellow. But for now can you tell me about this charlatan that has written your story?

Josh: Ah, this Hank Edwards, he’s a good enough fellow. He’s got a list of books of all different types: Fluffers, Inc., A Carnal Cruise, and Vancouver Nights, all of which I hear are comedies of sorts about a young man who, well, keeps performers aroused. Sounds kind of kinky if you ask me. There’s also Plus Ones, another comedy about a summer of weddings between two men. I tell you, if Dex and I could get married … well, let’s just say in the 1880s, that’s not much likely to happen.

Ichabod: (((snorts in disgust))) It’s not so good in the 1790’s either for men with such proclivities

Josh: (((scratches his chin thoughtfully at Ichabod’s almost confession))) Anyway, Hank’s got a time travel romance called Destiny’s Bastard and a thriller called Holed Up, about another lawman, but this one’s in something called the FBI, whatever that means. Hank’s been telling me he’s got lots of plans for me and Dex and that vampire Balthazar, as well as Glory and her protective spirit Ohanzee, that our stories are goin’ to become something called the Venom Valley Series. This Hank has been writing for darn near fifteen years now, and it don’t look like he’s aiming to stop anytime soon, thank goodness. I want to how all this turns out with me and Dex!

Ichabod: Well this fellow who has written your story seems to be an interesting chap. Can you tell me where I might be able to contact him?

Josh: Why sure! He’s on this thing called the Inter-webs at his WEBSITE. He’s also got something called a FACEBOOK and a page specially set aside for my story at THE VENOM VALLY FANPAGE . He does something called “tweeting” on TWITTER, and every Monday morning he posts a free m/m story to his blog with a group that call themselves the STORY ORGY. Sounds a might racy to me.

Ichabod: Indeed it does (((quickly makes note of this Story Orgy in his notebook))) And where can my followers purchase this book if they wish for a good laugh? I’m, assuming it is in the fiction category (((snort, snort)))

Josh: You’re kinda an uppity sort, ain’t you? I don’t think you’d last very long in Belkin’s Pass, if you don’t mind my sayin’ so. The book Bounty can be purchased at a few places: Amazon, All Romance eBooks and Smashwords

Ichabod: Uppity, eh? I believe I shall take that as a compliment. I would like to thank Mr. Josh Stanton for his interesting story.

If you readers would like to read this Venom Valley Book 1 BOUNTY where Mr. Stanton raises the dead (((chokes on a laugh))) all you need to do is post a comment and one lucky commentator will win the book along with my own slightly more realistic story, THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW


  1. That was hilarious! Just wonderful! Josh - don't let Ichabod change your mind - you know what you know!

    Ichabod - I think you need to meet this guy named Charlie Heggensford . . . he could loosen you up. ; )

  2. cute interview . Both books sound like a fun read. Thanks for the chance to win

  3. Thanks for stopping by, ladies! @Robin...Ichabod would DIE if he spent a day with Charlie! LOL