Monday, October 31, 2011

Ichabod and the Vampire's Girlfriend

Firstly, Ichabod Crane would like to thank Miss Wadsworth for allowing him the use of her blog to champion a subject he has been passionate about for some time:

There Are No Such Thing As Ghosts!

The following interviews are all his thoughts and Miss Wadsworth would like to post them all with the declaimer: These interviews have no bearing on her own personal beliefs. Please hold none of Ichabod's nonsense against her.

Yes, well that was most unnecessary, Miss Wadsworth. Nonetheless, I am the schoolmaster in Tarrytown, New York and recently it has been brought to my attention that more than just my students are in want of a proper education. In my century there are many superstitious folks who tell tales of ghosts and goblins.

Well, Miss Wadsworth has kindly arraigned for me to interview a sampling of these, shall we call them ‘special’ people. Over the next two weeks they will be stopping by so that they may be given a chance to try and convince me that they are telling the truth and not simply barking mad.
So let's get started!

Ichabod : Today we have with us Catherine Ela whose story is being featured in a book entitled DRACULA'S KISS by JoAnne Kenrick, released 20th October. Catherine, aka Cathela, claims she just discovered vampires are a reality. Now, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?

Cathela: Well, hello Ichabod. I would say I'm looking forward to this interview...but I've a feeling you'll scoff at everything that comes out my mouth. Perhaps, though, once you see I'm a very level headed person, you might find it within yourself to be a little more open-minded about the supernatural occurrences you seem so adamant to disbelieve.

Ichabod: You doo seem to be a level headed woman, I must say. And completely human as well

Cathela: I'm a born 'n bred Essex girl. No. I don't wear white shoes and dance around my handbag, before you ask. Okay, so that might be a reference only Brits will understand, but you seem worldly enough to 'get it'. I'm a bank-teller, have been for many years. Before my awakening, I lived with a fellow banker. We had plans, and life was all about saving so we could afford to buy our own house. But there was a part of me that longed for something more. Something...different. Like you, I thought the paranormal belonged in fiction. And I did enjoy a movie about vampires. Their passion and thirst for life, even without a beating heart, appealed to me, and made me dream of a time where I could find such love and experience that feeling of not being able to be without the other.

And then, one night during a Halloween ball, my desires for something more got me in trouble. My boyfriend left me, sick of my vamp fetish, and I met Alec Murray. Of course I didn't know it at the time, but I had come face to face with a vampire. And since that night, my life has been anything but predicable.

Ichabod: You don’t say? Now give me an example of how that works?

Cathela: Well...who's to say what loving a vampire is going to bring from one day to the next. And the not knowing is what thrills me after what seems like an eternity of boredom. His passion for me is insatiable, his ability to please me impeccable, and it's a joy to share his thirst to enjoy every day rather than planning for what will be.

Ichabod: More comments from Ichabod…Well since you continue to insist that this is true, do you have any proof? Any other people that might vouch for your sanity?

Cathela: ((removes a lace scarf and undoes a few buttons from her dress. She then caresses just above her bosom and sighs in a dream-like way, her eyes glazing over suggesting she's fantasizing about hot vampire-sex)) See, bite marks. Alec did this.

Ichabod: (((blusters))) My word! Are those bite marks?

Cathela: yup

Ichabod: Unfortunately you appear unable to be reasoned with. Why don’t we discuss something more neutral? Can you tell me about this charlatan that has written your story?

Cathela: JoAnne? A charlatan? I don't think so. She writes the truth! JoAnne, like you, has studied the paranormal. Only her mind is a little...well a lot...more open than yours. Perhaps that's because she's seen a few things. The stuff she has come across would certainly cause you to break out in goosebumps and jump over the skeptic line. She's an ex ghost tour guide turned author, and has had many articles published about the paranormal published. JoAnne now writes stories about folks she's met while moving around the globe..ranging from Irish bar men to Liverpudlian gypsies and of course vampires. Did you know she's lived in five different countries? JoAnne's mind sure is broad. Not saying yours isn't, Ichabod, but--

Ichabod: Is there a way I can contact JoAnna so that I may speak with her personally about the nonsense she is perpetuating?

Cathela: She is so-o not going to be impressed with your attitude, Mister. You best tread carefully , and keep your skepticism to a polite level when you speak to her. She may just write a book about you. I'm guessing it won't be pretty. But since you are so insistent—I never could resist a man in command. If it weren't for finding my true love already, I might have to flirt with you a little—you can find her almost everywhere. She is addicted to social networks. Unfortunately. She would do better to write more stories about myself and Alec...we have many bedroom adventures JoAnne could tantalize her readers with. Here's all the places you find can find her, when she should be writing. YouTube Facebook. Twitter

Ichabod: And where can my followers purchase this book if they wish for a good laugh? I’m, assuming it is in the fiction category (((snort, snort )))

Cathela: erm, hello! Didn't you see the bite marks? ((Cathela shoves her bosom in Ichabods face)) Fiction indeed? I'm taking it that you never saw Anthony Stuart Head's True Horror documentary that proves vampires are real? It's in the vampire romance section..because that's what it is. Silly! By the way, where can we find your story? In the lunatic skeptic section? ((Cathela lets out a belly laugh)) And since you seem so insistent on, you can find here: Decadent Publishing Kindle US Kindle UK ARe BookStrand SmashWords. Perhaps once you've read it, your mind will be changed...and you will cross over to the dark side of believing in something non two dimensional.

Ichabod: Perhaps, but perhaps not.

Now if our readers would like to read it, all they have to do is leave a comment below and one lucky person will win DRACULA'S KISS and copy of THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW


Cathela's Office Halloween Ball is a complete bust. She spills out her Dracula's Bride costume, and her vamp fetish chases away her boyfriend. Only redeeming feature to the night? Necking multiple shots of Dracula's Kiss—a lush Black Cherry Vodka cocktail—and an interlude with a gorgeous man dressed Gary Oldman style.

No one comes close to satisfying Alec Murray's needs until he meets Cathela during some lame-ass party for bankers. One taste of her blood, sweet yet darkly dangerous, he knows she's perfect for him.

A night of goth bondage is planned for one. For the other, a night of sexual control is a must. A perfect fit. Alec is compelled to reveal his true nature, but can their relationship survive his dark secret?


1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for hosting me, today, Deanna! Catherine Ela thanks you also xx Good luck to all who enter xx