COCKTAILS AND COCK TALES WITH ANNE HOLLY!

Today we have erotica Author Anne Holly with us. We will be sippin’ on some Bailey’s and coffee while she tells us about her two new holiday releases, UN-SCROOGED and GOOD FOR THE GOOSE

Bailey’s and Coffee
2 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream
5 oz black coffee

Deanna: I start out all my interviews the same, Anne: Where are you and what are you wearing?

Anne: I am in Ontario, Canada, and quite chilly, so I am pretty much bundled up. Since I spend most of my time trying to squeeze my writing and other work in between bouts of toddler minding, my usual uniform consists of something schlumpy and relatively clean. Sexy, no?

Deanna: Schlumpy, that’s a good one. We usually call that dressing like a frumpkin. Ya know? A frumpy bumpkin? LOL, which is exactly my own personal look this morning. Good thing we’re not Skyping! So what’s your poison? Vodka? Hot Coco?

Anne: Coffee. Always with the coffee. Once a year, I add some Bailey’s to that or to some cocoa, but that’s about as wild as I get.

Deanna: You wild one. Well, the interview is called “Cocktails and Cock Tales” so bring on the Bailey’s! (((pours a healthy dollop into each coffee cup))) Now that we’re comfy, tell me about your new books?


Anne: My two brand new releases in the past week and a half or so are both Christmas stories. My new Decadent Publishing release is a romantic comedy set in England, which is sort of an homage to A Christmas Carol, called UN-SCROOGED, where an eccentric writer must come of out his protective bubble if he wants to grab onto his last chance – an optimistic and cheerful Canadian grad student who has moved into his building for the year. Their story culminates in an awkward family Christmas where he has to deal with what made him as bitter as he is.

Deanna: Sounds fun! And your second book?

Anne: I also have a new erotic romance for the holidays out with Wicked Nights’ erotic line, After Dark, GOOD FOR THE GOOSE, which focuses on a recently divorced professor who has a hot fling with a young Latin lover only to find that it might not be just a fling after all.


Both of the heroes in these two books are my favourite male characters that I have written so far – adorable, and hot, hot, hot. Just right for cold nights. ;)

Deanna: I’m sensing some similarities in these stories, can you tell us about that?

Anne: I was a grad student for many years, and now teach a university, so I love the weird, eccentric personalities one sees as a career academic – and as a writer, as well! That is why most of my works involve academics or writers, etc – it’s what I know. I am also fond of thinking of ways and reasons people resist love and romance, and figuring out how they can overcome that cynicism that life makes in them. And, well, the winter holidays are a great time for that – people are more vulnerable, I think.

Deanna: What was the hardest part of writing these stories for you?

Anne: Editing was no picnic, I can tell you that! My natural fiction style is quite chaotic, so forcing it into industry standards can be painful. I’m learning, though. Also, with erotica and sex scenes in general, I sometimes have a hard time writing things I wouldn’t say in mixed company. Full-body blushes are not unheard of when I write those parts.

Deanna: ROFL!!!! Yeah, one time I was writing a hot m/m sex scene and my mom called. A tornado was on its way and she wanted to come over and sit in my basement. Needless to say I had to leave my poor heroes hanging.
Way to solider on through those full bodied blushes. I’m sure your readers appreciate it. What’s the easiest thing about writing for you?

Anne: The characters! Also, my favourite part. When I sit down to write a story or book, the characters are already alive in my head. They make everything else so much more worth it.

Deanna: I totally feel the same. What is your dream story, your opus, if you will? The one you dream about writing but haven’t don’t it?

Anne: I have some more literary stuff I’d like to do some day when I have the time and introspection to do them – stuff about my family history. I will also be working on one soon, which is sort of in pre-production, to use a filmmaking term – a romance set in Nova Scotia’s ship building past, a time I find very exciting. I have also had a screenplay bubbling away on the back burner for a long time.

Deanna: Those all sound great, I hope you get to write all of them…and more importantly SELL all of them!
When did you first discover you were a writer? Were you like sitting on the toilet and just said, “Ya know, I think I’m gonna write a book.” Or was it more profound? J

Anne: I’ve had multiple epiphanies in my life. When I was a kid, I was all about pronouncing, “I am going to be a writer when I grow up!” I was good, too – for a kid. Then, after I finished my undergrad degree, I actually wrote a romance (mostly as something to do, but also because I was seeking direction), which got rejected on my one and only inquiry, so it got shoved in a shoebox when I started grad school. I wrote that one after I read LaVyrle Spencer’s retirement novel, where she included a letter encouraging people to write – that was like a light going on for me, and I remembered how much I wanted to write when I was a kid. But, that rejection made me think, “Well, I tried,” and I moved on.

Then, when I finished my PhD I thought – “You know, this summer, I am going to see what I can do with this.” So, I hauled out the old manuscript, and polished out the school girl stuff and made it a bit stronger, and I sent it off – and it got accepted! (I was stunned, frankly.) So, then I started in on my new direction of writing a lot and publishing as much as I could, so I could learn as much as possible and start building my name.

That novel, STRINGS ATTACHED, which was first written about eight years ago and then revamped, is being released in May 2011! I am still in awe of that. Take that, editor who rejected it way back when!

Deanna: Lol, success feels great, doesn’t it? What helps you when you are stumped on a scene in a manuscript? I usually have a cocktail or three. But that’s just me.

Anne: I watch movies. When I work on a story, I typically have a “muse,” or an actor who reminds me of the character’s qualities. When I get stumped, I take an evening off and watch one of that actor’s movies, which can get the creative juices flowing again. (Get your mind out of the gutter, there.)

Deanna: No, you can’t make me! See? I got out him just to prove a point!

Anne: Lol, You're bad!

Deanna: Thank-you! Now what else helps you kick writer's block?

Anne: Sometimes, it is music, though – for instance, when I did my paranormal erotic, I listened to a lot of Type O Negative, because Peter Steele (rest his soul) made for an excellent muse, and the music had the right feel, both dark and sexy… Then I had to do two Christmas stories immediately afterwards, which made for a jarring switch. I really had a hard time changing moods there.

Deanna: Tell us about a scene that you have written then afterwards, when you read it, you shocked yourself? You know I want a dirty answer (((hint hint)))

Anne: Well, in GOOD FOR THE GOOSE there is some very light bondage and the hero seems to like being teasingly whipped – that surprised me a great deal to see myself write that.

Deanna: HA! I knew I got out the whip boy for good reason!

Anne: Lol. In my current work in progress, I have an extended scene as my hero is in search of condoms, which I found rather amusing and that surprised me – I am usually squeamish about putting my heroes in really embarrassing situations, even though the poor guys do end up humiliated a lot of the time.
Sometimes, I have to say, though it might sound like conceit, I some times sit back and say to myself, “Man, did I write that? That’s good!” I am still shocked when I see myself write like an actual writer, if that makes any sense.

Deanna: Well you ARE a writer, so of course it makes sense!

Thank you for stopping by today, Anne. It was a lot of fun but now I'm all out of Baileys....(she says she only has a little, yeah right!)

If you had fun reading today's installment of COCKTAILS AND COCK TALES, please post a comment so Anne can stuff one lucky winners stocking with their choice of UN-SCROOGED or GOOD FOR THE GOOSE!

Here's where you can find Anne Holly on the web:
Website, Blog , Facebook, and YouTube
GOOD FOR THE GOOSE links:
Wicked Nights
Amazon:
UN-SCROOGED Links:
Decadent Publishing
Amazon

COCKTAILS AND COCK TALES WITH LISA VANCE

Today we are chatting with paranormal author Lisa Anne Vance. Her debut novel PASSING WHISPERS is being released DECEMBER 1st!!!!

So let’s pull up a chair, grab a drink…alcoholic if you please…and put on your listening caps! If you have a Q at the end you can even win a free copy of Lisa’s book PASSING WHISPERS!

Lisa and I are drinking:
HOT WHISPER

2 oz Van Gogh Coffee Vodka
1 oz Cream
2 oz Dr. McGillicuddy’s Vanilla Schnapps
Add all to 3 oz hot black coffee
Garnish with a dollop of whipped cream

Deanna: Welcome to Cocktails and Cock Tales, Lisa!
This is my first and soon to be infamous question: Where are you and what are you wearing?

Lisa: I’m in exotic New Jersey (don’t be jealous). I wish I could say I was wearing a black, lace teddy, but to be truthful, I’m actually wearing my usual bag lady outfit (sweat pants and fuzzy slippers). I wear that every day, but on special occasions, I put on a pearl necklace.

Deanna: Oooh! Fancy schmancy! I love pearls! What’s your poison? Vodka? Hot Coco?

Lisa: French Vanilla Cappuccino.

Deanna: Hmmm, you’re too easy. Let me think of a way to make one alcoholic…gimme a sec…OKAY! Here goes! Let’s call it a HOT WHISPER…based on your book! YUM!

Lisa: PLEASE… don’t make it hot. I’m menopausal, ya know.

Deanna: I'll serve yours over ice then. Now that we’re comfy, tell me about your new book?

Lisa: PASSING WHISPERS is a paranormal romance novel due to be released by Devine Destinies on December 1, 2010. One year after her husband is killed during a robbery, Kate Sorra is still consumed with anger and grief. She comes across the snow globe he had given her on their first Christmas. Before she can smash it against a wall, Endel finds a way to come back to her. He spends the next two weeks helping Kate to understand the tragedy and move on with her life. Although it’s breaking his heart, he also helps her to find a new love.

Deanna: Wow that sounds like it might not have a HEA…

Lisa: It’s a tear-jerker, but it does have a happy ending. I promise.

Deanna: Oh good! Where did the idea for this story come from?

Lisa: Funny you should ask. I think of it as a Devine Inspiration. I was half asleep on the couch one afternoon, and the story just… came to me.

Deanna: I can understand that! It happens to me all the time! I actually have a fishbowl where I store all the notes for new books…though actually it is a Jagermeister bucket sitting on the bar in my basement. But I digress… Lisa, what was the hardest part of writing this story for you?

Lisa: There is a part where Kate has to council a client in the Women’s Shelter where she is a nurse practitioner. I did a lot of research on Domestic Abuse to make sure she was giving the right advice.

Deanna: It is so cool that you went beyond the internet…so few of us do anymore. Can you tell me what the easiest thing about writing the book was?

Lisa: Even though I have never made love with a ghost, the scenes came easily to me.

Deanna: Oh, if that was the research data you needed, why didn’t you SAY SO?!! I sleep with ghosts all the time!!

Lisa: You do?

Deanna: No, but I had you going for a second, didn’t I? LOL

Lisa: Sigh. A single woman’s lament. Always going… never… well, you know.

Deanna: LOL, Now let’s get back on topic…What is your dream story, your opus, if you will? The one you dream about writing but haven’t done yet?

Lisa: I’m happy to report that PASSING WHISPERS was it!

Deanna: Cool! Can you tell my readers how you first discovered you were a writer? Were you like weeding your garden and just said, “Ya know, I think I’m gonna write a book.” Or was it more profound?

Lisa: After my divorce eleven years ago, I was bored and lonely. I started writing a Web Page, depicting my misadventures as a middle-aged, DWF from NJ. I had so much fun writing it, and got so much encouragement from my Readers, that I decided to write a book.

Deanna: That’s awesome! Is the site still up?

Lisa: Yes. I believe it’s now the longest Web Page in the history of the Internet. http://havingagreattime.net

Deanna: Now what helps you when you are stumped on a scene in a manuscript? I usually have a cocktail or three. But that’s just me.

Lisa: All I have to do is watch a book trailer, or read a book, and my imagination takes off.

Deanna: I feel ya there, sista! Inspiration is everywhere! Especially in music. Most of my stories have a theme song. Does PASSING WHISPERS have a theme song?

Lisa: I made my own book trailer and found a beautiful song called ‘Hidden Past‘ to use as the background music. Now, whenever I think about ‘Passing Whispers‘, I hear that song. Some people hear voices. All my life… I have heard music. My own personal sound tract! It changes depending on my situation. I live in fear of suddenly hearing the music to JAWS

Deanna: Well, I watch SHARK WEEK and I also have an unnatural fear of sharks, so I won’t tease you on that! Can you tell us about a scene that you have written then afterward, when you read it, you shocked yourself? You know I want a dirty answer (((hint hint)))

Lisa: Nothing in this book shocked me, but I was surprised at how I could describe being made love to by a ghost. After all, I have no experience!

Deanna: So says you!!! You seem slightly obsessed with ghost sex if you ask me…

Lisa: Only recently, Deanna. There’s nothing like the coolness of a ghost in the middle of the night when you’re having your twentieth hot flash.

Deanna: LOL Now can you tell my readers about the contest you are running?

Lisa: I am running a contest on YouTube from December 1, 2010 to December 7, 2010. You get one entry for every comment you make under my PASSING WHISPERS book trailer. The winner will be chosen on December 8, 2010 and will receive a FREE KINDLE and a copy of PASSING WHISPERS to start off their E-book collection: CLICK HERE TO ENTER

Deanna: Sounds awesome!
But winners are not limited to the Kindle contest.
If you post a comment below you will be entered for a chance to win a copy of PASSING WHISPERS!

Lisa Vance’s book PASSING WHISPERS can be found at: Divine Destinies
You can also visit her at her blog, her website and Facebook

Naughty Things to Say on Thanksgiving

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. That's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up!

Another random Thanksgiving fact:

When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it. honey.” He went into his backyard, came back five minutes later with a live turkey and ate it whole. When he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he did it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”


See I can be serious too:
“When we exist without thought or thanksgiving we are not men, but beasts.” M.F.K. Fisher (1908–1992)


Now if you still want another laugh, check out this video! LOL

Sex in YA? Tabboo or ignored?

Hey there everyone. My name’s Leslie Soule and I’m pleased to be a guest on this blog today.

When Deanna gave me the idea to do a blog post on the topic of sex in YA novels, I thought it would be a good challenge to tackle. It got me thinking about the novels I’d read and enjoyed as a teenager and how they handled the tricky topic of sex. I used to love reading a series called the Redwall series by British author Brian Jacques.

The series is about a bunch of animals like mice and otters and badgers who live in a big sandstone abbey together and act like people. The very first book I’d read in the series – one I still have, whose pages are old and dirty, whose spine is so cracked you can barely make out the title since I’d read it so many times – deals with the title character named Mattimeo.

Now the book mentions Mattimeo’s parents – warrior Matthias and his love Cornflower, but there is no mention of sex in the entire Redwall series, and yet we know that Mattimeo had to have come from somewhere. Little mice do not just POP into existence from nothing.

So I thought about other novels that I loved when I was a teenager – and realized that, at least with the books I’d read, (Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, etc.) sex was completely ignored. I searched the internet for other opinions on the topic, in order to gain some insight.

A Google search led me to the Magical Musings blog, where the question was being posed, “How much sex is acceptable in a YA novel?” The author of the post came to the conclusion that there are no rules. While I can see this, I also think there are still standards and traditions.

I recently went to the midnight showing of the new “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One”. For any of you who haven’t seen the movie yet, turn away now, because I will spoil it for you.

***Spoiler Alert***

Okay, so here’s what happens – Ron sees a vision of Harry and Hermione embracing nude. I didn’t remember this happening in the book when I’d read the Harry Potter series all those years ago, so I looked up whether this scene was in the books or not. Turns out it wasn’t. J.K. Rowling, following in the tradition of many other YA fantasy authors, steered clear of the topic altogether in her novels. She, like so many others, didn’t want to touch “sex” with a ten-foot pole.

Personally, I am guilty of ignoring sex altogether as well in my work and in my upcoming YA novel FALLENWOOD. There’s not a scrap of sex involved in it. At the risk of not practicing what I am about to preach, here are my thoughts on the question of how much is allowable: I believe that in a YA novel, if sex is included, it should be used as a tool in order to enlighten the reader (and I don’t mean “enlighten” as in teaching them different positions).

I find it appalling how nonchalantly various forms of social media advocate casual sex as a normal and healthy lifestyle choice for young adults. However, where are young adults to go in order to get the right information on the subject? It’s rare to see YA novels make any statement at all other than silence.

So there ya go – How is sex handled in YA novels?

It isn’t.



~Thanks Leslie!

Leslie will give away a free copy of her short story THE DEVIL'S BIDDING to anyone who would like to post a comment below on this topic.

You can visit Leslie on her website or her www.falcondraco.bravejournal.com

Thanks for stopping by and good luck!

~Deanna

One Naughty Read for One Nice Cause

Well you know all know what they say...Tis the Season.
But for what?

Spending money we don't have? Listening to Bing Crosby? Eating copious amounts of cookies?

How about giving back?

I have had an amazing year. I had my first two books published and a third on the way. Being published has been a life long dream of mine and now that it has happened I want to share some of the love. So I am going to give a little something to a good cause instead of buying more candles and crap I do not need.

SO if maybe you, like me, have been just a little too Naughty this year, I have just the way you can do something a little Nice without totally being good...I gotta look out for all us lump-o-coal-in-the-stocking-folk! :)

What is this Nice cause, you may ask? No, it is not my beer fund. Not this time anyway. This one is legit, LOL

The American Cancer Society Relay for Life.

If you are not familiar with R4L, it is a life-changing event which gives everyone in communities across the globe a chance to celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and fight back against the disease.

Read For a Cure is a Decadent Publishing program benefiting the American Cancer Society Relay For Life. Each month, my awesome publisher, Decadent Publishing, donates ALL PUBLISHER PROFITS from one book per month to Relay For Life in their efforts to help fight back against cancer.

How cool is that?

In December my erotic m/m short story SECRET SANTA will be that book. Would you just look at that juicy cover? Mmm-mmm Now you see where it's starting to get Naughty again...

Three of the most important people in my life, my two grandmothers and my grandfather all died quickly of very aggressive cancers. They didn't even get to fight. I would love to be, even in a small way, a part of helping fund research so that other families might have a better chance than mine did.

When I signed my first book, Red Riding Hood, with Decadent I was just so happy that someone liked my writing that I gave very little thought to what was going on around me. Later, when I heard about their charitable donations I was so impressed with such willingness to give back that my publisher inspired me to do the same.

During the this Holiday season I will be donating 50 cents from each purchase of SECRET SANTA to this great organization. Its just a tiny way to help but maybe you can help me make it big. You know, try and make up for what you did last Saturday night...now don't deny it. You KNOW what you did...

And I'm such a giver I'm given you a chance to try and get back on Santa's good side. Better late than never, right?

If you have never read an m/m story before, I hope you to pick SECRET SANTA when it comes out next week, not only because m/m books ROCK, but because this story is One Naughty Read for One Nice Cause!

Wishing you all a Healthy and Happy Season!

~Deanna

For more information about how you can help donate to Relay for Life or to join TEAM DECADENT click on the Relay for Life widget on the left of this page or check out their link HERE

The Sentinal

THE SENTINAL

Ichabod: Today we have with us Adam of River Gap pride whose story is being featured in a book entitled Heart’s Sentinel, released Aug 2010. Adam claims to be a shapeshifter. For those of you who have never heard of that, it’s a person that can become and animal (((snort))). But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt because we have been seeing some strange things these last few interviews. Now, Adam why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?

Adam: I’m a Sentinel of the River Gap pride.

Ichabod: A pride, you say? Like lions?

Adam: (((chuckles))) Not lions, but definitely big cats. It’s my duty to protect our own. I’m also a mixed martial arts instructor for our community. I consider myself a laid back kind of guy, but I take my responsibilities seriously. Any threat and I get feral.
Of course, you don’t believe in the other side of me. I’m betting you’ve never seen a cat bigger than a house cat, much less seen a man shift into one.

Ichabod: (((eyebrow raise))) No, I can’t say that I have seen a man turn into a cat. I’m not sure if that is scientifically possible, but for argument’s sake, can you give my readers an example of how that works?

Adam: Shifters have a wider range of extremes than humans. We see more clearly, farther, and don’t need as much light. We hear sounds humans can’t hear and at greater distances. We smell much more than feeble human noses. We’re faster and more powerful. And it follows that we feel more strongly too, more intensely.

Ichabod: That’s a very interesting talent. I suppose it would make certain activities more interesting.

Adam: There are activities and then there are activities. You thinking about the kind that get you all hot and bothered, prof?

Ichabod: (((bluster))) No, I was just making an observation.

Adam: Oh, well, trust me, there’s some high points and low points to the feeling. A man’s gotta know how to…handle… a situation.
Course, there’s also the ability to actually Shift into our animal form. For example, my other form is a jaguar. A panther, in fact. The black phenotypic variant of a jaguar.

Ichabod: A panther, hmmm? I know I will regret asking this, but if you turn into a panther, what do you do about clothing when you return to human form?

Adam: (((grin’s wickedly))) Depends. Sometimes I head for the nearest cache of clothes, sometimes I don’t bother.

Ichabod: That seems to be a most inconvenient side effect.

Adam: Us shapeshifters like to meet at the clothes line, it’s where we like to hang out.

Ichabod: I think we have gotten off track. Do you have any proof that this is true?

Adam: I could shift, but when I shift back. . . I’d be naked.

Ichabod: (((blushing))) Well, as intriguing as that sounds, I think I will pass. You have to forgive me, but this is all so far-fetched. Are there any ‘normal’ people who might vouch for your sanity?

Adam: River Gap Pride has given sanctuary to Mackenzie Sunton, who used to be human.

Ichabod: ‘Used’ to be human? What do you mean by that?

Adam: She experienced firsthand what it is to be forcibly Changed into a shapeshifter, not born. As a human turned shapeshifter, she could give you insight from both perspectives. I’m the Sentinel assigned to protect her and teach her what she needs to know to survive.
Don’t bother looking to interview her attacker, he’s a dead man.

Ichabod: ((((looks shocked)))) Yes well, perhaps you should leave such matters as vengeance to the authorities.

Adam: On pride territory, the Sentinels and Enforcers ARE the authorities. It’s a harsh world, prof, and shapeshifters live by harsh laws to survive. That a little too violent for you?

Ichabod: I can see you are getting agitated. Why don’t we discuss something more neutral? Can you tell me about this charlatan that has written your story?

Adam: You’re some sort of school teacher, right? You remind me of this other cross-eyed teacher I knew, couldn't control his pupils.

Ichabod: I run a perfectly ordered classroom, thank-you very much!

Adam: (((laugh))) Just kidding. You really ought to find some way to relax, Ichabod. Maybe stop by that Tavern you like to frequent. Since I’m feeling generous, I’ll let you know a little about PJ Schnyder. She is a quirky girl, but she’s no charlatan. For a human, there’s a lot of cat to her. She loves snuggles and scratches, and curling up in a patch of warm sun for a nap. When she’s writing, she’s been snuggled up on her big comfy chair with her netbook. When she’s out and about, she never fails to pounce on a plot bunny.

Ichabod: Is there a way I can contact Miss Schnyder so that I may speak to her?

Adam: You can find PJ at the following links:
PJ's web site
Twitter
Facebook
But I don’t suggest trying to sneak up on her at home. I might take issue with that. I do protect my own.

Ichabod: And where can my followers purchase this book if they wish for a good laugh? I’m, assuming it is in the fiction category (((snort, snort )))

Adam: I’ve got a couple of good lines in the book, actually. Dunno if you’d appreciate my sense of humor though, I kind of sharpen my claws on your wit. Heart’s Sentinel can be purchased at several locations online. Here’s a few:
Decadent Publishing
Amazon
All Romance eBooks
1 Romance eBooks.

Ichabod: Well, thank you for talking to me today, Adam. It has been highly entertaining.

Adam: Well, prof, I hate to cut this short, but I didn’t eat before we sat down for this little chat and a hungry shapeshifter isn’t someone you want to be trapped in a room with. Ever.
Maybe I’ll catch you on one of your long walks through the wild side, prof. (((Adam stands and shifts.)))

Ichabod: (((staring at the pile of clothes on his floor))) I wish I could say that my eyes are playing tricks on me, but I would almost swear that man DID turn into a big black cat!
Oh, dear! Perhaps these beings are telling the truth! No! I refuse to believe it. Something made me imagine that. I wonder if that Brom Bones put a hallucinogenic substance into my water pitcher. I wouldn’t put anything nefarious passed that man. But just to be on the safe side, I think I might have to avoid being out at night this time of year. What with Halloween so close. Because if there is a chance some of these things are out there that means the Headless Horseman might exist, too! (((gulp)))

The FBI Agent

THE FBI AGENT


Ichabod: Today we have with us FBI agent, Jackie Rutledge out of the Chicago field office whose story is being featured in a book entitled Deadworld by J.N. Duncan, which will be in bookstores April, 2011. Miss Rutledge claims that there is an afterlife and sometimes those dead folks come back to this side, for better or worse.
Miss Wadsworth told me to be extra nice to you because she read your story and says it is…now I quote…awesome

Jackie: She thinks its “awesome” all the shit I had to go through? I don’t think I care for this chick.

Ichabod: Yes, well. I am beginning to doubt my hostess right about now as well. You should see the crazy people she has sent my way to interview. Just Sunday I was forced to talk to a man that thought he could turn into a cat or a panther or something. But I digress, Miss Rutledge. Why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?

Jackie: First of all, I'm not sure why I even agreed to do this. I don't like reporters in general, but as you seem to be bordering on insulting my partner's psychic abilities, I'm going to step in and say a few things here. First off, my credentials. I'm a field agent with the FBI out of Chicago. I hunt down killers for a living, and while 99 times out of 100, these come as living, breathing, despicable human beings, I'll be the first to say that on rare occasions, the dead like to get in on the action.

Ichabod: Um ... you had me until you said ‘the dead.’

Jackie: Yeah, it was nice when I could be like you. But I know this because I've seen it in action. Also, my partner is psychic. She can talk to dead people. She has seen ghosts, and yes, I mean those hazy, gray apparitions you typically think of when wondering just what ghosts might look like. I've seen one myself as well, so don't give me that arched eyebrow look. I know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Ichabod: You do, eh?

Jackie: I will readily admit to skepticism with regard to the supernatural. I understand your reticence, and you certainly look the reticent type, but I've had direct encounters with ghosts in the past. The particular case from a few years ago when I saw a ghost comes to mind, when we had members of a family being killed. Three men were murdered: a son, a father, and grandfather, all by different people. It turns out these murderers all had one thing in common. They were possessed by the ghost of the young woman raped and killed by these family members. When we caught up to the final killer, my partner made this ghost leave. It stepped out of the person's body and I saw it with my own two eyes. Seeing is believing, let me tell you.

Ichabod: Unlike the others I've interviewed, you seem to be a very logical person. I myself have seen strange things, too. I don’t believe in ghosts but I avoid traveling through Sleepy Hollow at night. The rumors of the Headless Horseman are growing wilder the closer we get to All Hallow’s Eve. But I have to say, were I to actually witness something, as you said, I might change my mind. Are you working on any cases of interest currently?

Jackie: I'm on a case that has all the earmarks of supernatural involvement once again. My partner sensed the presence of the dead around a boy who was drained of all his blood.

Ichabod: (((pales a bit))) The body was literally drained...as in vampires? I haven’t had the best experience with vampires.

Jackie: Yes, literally drained, but no, I'm not saying it's a vampire. Even my belief only goes so far.

Ichabod: (((sigh of relief))) How can you be sure that there really is a “presence,” as you called it, near this drained body?

Jackie: I trust my partner's abilities in this regard. She knows what she's doing and I've seen her in action. And no, you can't come along to check it out. If you can't trust my word on this, then you can go soak that big, scrawny head of yours.

Ichabod: Really, Miss Rutledge! I wasn’t insulting her. I was simply asking…but apparently you are in a confrontational frame of mind. Perhaps there is a way I could speak with her?

Jackie: If you insist on speaking with her about these matters, I can give you the FBI office's number. She might talk to you about this, but I'm guessing no. She doesn't like being public with this as you might imagine.

Ichabod: I can imagine.

Jackie: Hey, we got a job to do and you get all kinds of weirdos coming out of the woodwork when ghosts get mentioned. Hell, maybe you might want to call this company we're investigating called ‘Special Investigations.’

Ichabod: And what organization is this?

Jackie: Apparently they hunt ghosts, but you might want to hurry on that, since I'm guessing they may not be in business much longer, if I have anything to do with it. Its run by some cowboy wanna-be named Nick Anderson. Don't say I didn't warn you though.

Ichabod: I may call ‘Special Investigations’ another time. I believe I would like to read your story, Deadworld. Can you tell me about the man that has written it?

Jackie: The author of my story? You mean the ass-hat who keeps throwing me into one shitstorm after another?

Ichabod: (((taken aback))) That’s not usually the response I get. Most of my interviewees adore their author.

Jackie: Read what he's done to me and then we'll talk. Do you know how to handle a gun? I might part with mine if you're willing to do a little "behind the scenes" work for me in this matter.

Ichabod: You are the second person I have interviewed that asked me to commit an act of violence. I do not condone physical violence. Unless of course, you’re referring to spanking. Everyone loves a little spanking now and then, wouldn’t you agree?

Jackie: (((observes Ichabod for a moment))) Anyway, the author of Deadworld author is J.N. Duncan. I haven't been able to track down the sonofabitchsonuvabitch, but you might have some luck through the publisher, Kensington. My hands are tied somewhat in this regard as you might understand. Hell, you’re probably into that. But I might make it worth your while if you can make something happen. I'd like a few words with that...okay, anyway. I don't want to get carried away here or bring any more suspicions down on me.

Ichabod: You are a highly energetic woman.

Jackie: I’ll take that as a compliment

Ichabod: It was intended as one. Is there a way I can contact this troublemaker so that I may speak with him personally about the problems they he is causing you?

Jackie: If you really want to do that, you can make contact through Wordpress, Facebook or Twitter. Do so at your own peril, but like I said, if you can manage to dissuade the bastard of making my life hell, I'll compensate you for your efforts.

Ichabod: (((chuckle))) Now where can my followers purchase this book Deadworld?

Jackie: Fortunately, this story is not on the streets yet, but if you insist on getting your hands on it, you can pre-order it at Amazon. Just look for Deadworld. And no, don't ask me what the hell that title means. I don't want to know.

Ichabod: Thank you, Miss Rutledge. You have been an absolute pleasure.

Jackie: Seriously?

Ichabod:(((laughs))) Yes! I believe you are the most logical person I have spoken with in all of these interviews. I suppose Miss Wadsworth was correct in sending you my way. It’s a refreshing change to talk to someone that doesn’t imagine they are living statues, vampires or cats. And don't get me started on pixies! (((shakes head)))

Besides, I could always use a friend in the FBI. That rotten Brom Bones has been up to his old tricks again, breaking into my school house and turning everything topsy-turvy. That has to be something the authorities could put a stop to. Too bad they can’t stop that constant winking business. Every time Brom bests me, be it with word or deed, he always winks at me. The intention behind that frustrates me to no end. Hopefully this Saturday, when I attend the quilting frolic at the Van Tassel mansion, he will not be in attendance.

Then again, what sport is there in competing for a girl when your rival is not there to witness your victories? It seems rather like a waste of time, if you ask me.